Revised Storyboard

Here is my revised and final storyboard, having made the changes suggested to me from my tutorial last week. In order to give the ending more depth and meaning, thus making the viewer more likely to buy into the dream twist and accept it, I decided to have the girl's hair wrapped around her neck and mouth when she woke up. I often wake to find my own hair managed to tangle itself around my neck while I've been turning over in my sleep, so this is a perfectly plausible explanation which ties in to why she dreamt of her hair trying to strangle her. It also allows for a more dramatic were she trusts her hair away after waking, this time pulling it back from her mouth and gasping for breath like she was suffocating, even thought that clearly isn't the case. Such an intense reaction thanks to the peril she felt in the dream will be far more compelling to watch than her simply flinching away from her hair even after she's realised she's awake. This way her sudden fear shows the viewer that she's still coming round and can't quite distinguish dream from reality quite yet. I also added one final twist at the very end; having the hair hand raise into the shot over her shoulder as she looks at the calendar to show that it wasn't really all a dream after all. I think this is a much more fun, interesting, and creepy way to end things, as it will hopefully leave the audience questioning what is real and what isn't, and naturally, what will happen to the poor girl? I think such an open ending with no real conclusion or concrete evidence as to what the fate of the main character will be is far more entertaining and more likely to linger in someone's mind after the film has ended than the ending I had before, so I'm glad I've made these changes.

Lastly, I went back to the desk scenes and added stationary and paper to make it appear more cluttered and to take the emphasis away from the scissors. After showing this revision to my tutor again he says this addition fixes the problem perfectly and that the action of the character is much clearer to read.